While confronting is not the best term, it does fit. This is an exercise, and not a true face-to-face type of confrontation. It is an exercise allowing you to give a voice to your pain, to place the responsibility and blame where it belongs, on your abuser. There are many ways to complete this exercise.
The first step, no matter how you choose to handle your confrontation, is write a letter. Emotions run high when writing your letter, be sure you tell your support system what you are doing. They will be of great comfort as you go through this exercise. It is advisable to have someone with you as you complete the next step.
Once the letter is written you have options for the next step.
Empty Chair Exercise
Place an empty chair in front of you. You may choose to sit or stand. Face the empty and imagine your abuser sitting in the empty chair. If you have a picture of your abuser, you can tape it to the chair as well. Read your letter to your abuser. Do not hold back your emotions. This is your chance to let it all out. Speak out loud your emotions.
Grave site visit
If your abuser has died and you know where they are buried, you may want to take your letter to the graveyard and read it to their headstone. This can be very powerful as you begin to realize they cannot hurt you any longer. You can say all the things you’ve always wanted to say to them without worrying about consequences.
At this point you choose what to do with your letter. You can keep it, burn it, rip it up, mail it, record it…it is your letter to do whatever you want with it.
Below you will find the video of my confrontation letter to my first abuser – my brother.
***Trigger Warning**** There is descriptions of my abuse in this video