The Hand You Are Dealt

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One thing I both love and loathe about the internet are the memes. Sometimes they can be encouraging, most of the time they take a huge issue and and try to oversimplify it.  For once though, the above is definitely an inspiration!

How many of us had a perfect childhood?  One of my most hated memes are those that say “if you have <insert item or experience here>, your childhood was awesome”.  NO, it still wasn’t awesome.  I may have experienced a moment of happiness by having said item or experience, but at the end of the day, I still went home to abuse, neglect, and things no child should ever have to endure.  I don’t want to stop those who did have awesome childhoods from celebrating, I just want acknowledgement that some of us had horrific ones.

However, I refuse to let my past define me.  Has it influenced me?  Of course it has.  Before, I let my past influence me in a negative manner.  I made bad choices based on the negative influence I allowed my past experience to have on me.  Today though, I take those experiences and use them as a guide to a more positive life.  How do I do this, well it wasn’t any easy road and there are still bad days, but let me share with you.

Every day I wake up.  I look in the mirror and my first thought is often what I was told when I was growing up – that I wasn’t pretty and never would be.  Instead of dwelling on that hurtful statement, I splash water on my face and say my affirmations.  EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And when I’m having a bad day, I say them throughout the day.  I am a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman.  I am loved.  I deserve to be loved.  Simple words right?  At first I felt foolish saying these words.  I said them, but I didn’t believe them.  However, slowly, over the years, I have come to completely believe in them.

Through hard work, help and support from friends, and especially because I want to set a great example to my own children, I’ve grown.  I’ve obtained a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a master’s degree in public relations, and began a doctorate program in 2020.  I started a podcast and non-profit organization.  In 2020 I also began developing a research project regarding personalities and abuse.  For the first time in my life I feel truly empowered.

My crown may be a little crooked, a little dented, and shows a bit of tarnish, but my crown is still sitting high upon my head.  My eyes are clear and focused on the future.  I stand straight and tall.

I may have been dealt a hand most people would have folded, but instead I bluffed my way until I received a hand I deserve.  And now…now it is my time to shine!

 

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