One thing I both love and loathe about the internet are the memes. Sometimes they can be encouraging, most of the time they take a huge issue and and try to oversimplify it. For once though, the above is definitely an inspiration!
How many of us had a perfect childhood? One of my most hated memes are those that say “if you have <insert item or experience here>, your childhood was awesome”. NO, it still wasn’t awesome. I may have experienced a moment of happiness by having said item or experience, but at the end of the day, I still went home to abuse, neglect, and things no child should ever have to endure. I don’t want to stop those who did have awesome childhoods from celebrating, I just want acknowledgement that some of us had horrific ones.
However, I refuse to let my past define me. Has it influenced me? Of course it has. Before, I let my past influence me in a negative manner. I made bad choices based on the negative influence I allowed my past experience to have on me. Today though, I take those experiences and use them as a guide to a more positive life. How do I do this, well it wasn’t any easy road and there are still bad days, but let me share with you.
Every day I wake up. I look in the mirror and my first thought is often what I was told when I was growing up – that I wasn’t pretty and never would be. Instead of dwelling on that hurtful statement, I splash water on my face and say my affirmations. EVERY SINGLE DAY. And when I’m having a bad day, I say them throughout the day. I am a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. I am loved. I deserve to be loved. Simple words right? At first I felt foolish saying these words. I said them, but I didn’t believe them. However, slowly, over the years, I have come to completely believe in them.
Through hard work, help and support from friends, and especially because I want to set a great example to my own children, I’ve grown. I’ve obtained a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a master’s degree in public relations, and began a doctorate program in 2020. I started a podcast and non-profit organization. In 2020 I also began developing a research project regarding personalities and abuse. For the first time in my life I feel truly empowered.
My crown may be a little crooked, a little dented, and shows a bit of tarnish, but my crown is still sitting high upon my head. My eyes are clear and focused on the future. I stand straight and tall.
I may have been dealt a hand most people would have folded, but instead I bluffed my way until I received a hand I deserve. And now…now it is my time to shine!